The Oscars Live

Chris Rock hosts a night of notable whiteness. At least there are some controversial topics explored in the films on the table, and some tension in long-nominated artists we’re all hoping will finally go home with a golden boy tonight.

oscars-2016-nominations-snubs-discussion

My pre-ceremony thoughts:

  • Mark Ruffalo is brilliant. Spotlight is brilliant. They need to win.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio saw me through my youth with What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Romeo & Juliet, and Titanic. He is LONG OVERDUE for this award. For goodness sake someone give it to him.
  • So many Australian nominations, mainly because of the highly acclaimed Mad Max: Fury Road. Let’s see if it can be the next Ben Hur/Titanic. Hooray for us!!

12:30pm: Opening monologue

Rock dubs this year’s Oscars “the white People’s Choice Awards” and takes a stab at last year’s white guy host, Neil Patrick Harris.
Commenting on why black people bother with the industry at all, he jokes “I don’t need to lose another job to Kevin Hart”.
Finally he comments on why you can’t ask woman what they’re wearing and in the meantime creates a wonderful mental image of George Clooney in a lime-green tux with a swan coming out of his ass.

12:40pm: First two Best Picture nominations announced
Spotlight
Bridge of Spies

12:45pm: Best Original Screenplay

Have you ever wondered why they kick off with the writing awards? Original Screenplay is one of the top categories and there are some big options on the table tonight. As already mentioned, I am favouring Spotlight wherever possible. It’s a brilliant movie.
WINNER: Josh Singer & Tom McCarthy for Spotlight
Hooray!!!!

12:50pm: Best Adapted Screenplay presented by Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe

Only Russell Crowe could read the screenplay excerpts with such authority.
WINNER: Charles Randolph and Adam McKay for The Big Short
I wonder, what’s with biopics? Why do we love them?

1:00pm: Satirical clip on the lack of coloured people in tonight’s nominated movies featuring Whoopi Goldberg and Tracey Morgan, among others, taking invented roles in Joy and The Danish Girl.
It does make you wonder why they thought a white woman inventing a mop would make for essential biopic viewing.
This prompts Rock to create a Minority Outreach Program.

1:02pm: Music performance from Sam Smith, introduced by Sarah Silverman

Silverman making digs at the chauvinism of James Bond and fails to not be annoying as always.
Performance from Sam Smith, “The Writing’s on the Wall” from the movie Spectre.
Apparently he was incredibly nervous about the performance, probably because it’s just him on the stage without backup dancers and boobs to distract people from his actual talent. Good thing he has more than enough talent to carry him.
Which makes me wonder why he gets an embrassingly small amount of applause. Because he’s English?

1:07pm: Two more Best Picture nominations presented by Kerry Washington & Henry Cavill
The Big Short
The Martian 

1:10pm: Best Supporting Actress

I’m wondering why Rachel McAdams? Her emotional range was the width of a pencil. Which was appropriate, but surely not Oscar-worthy.
WINNER: Alicia Vikander for The Danish Girl
She looks loverly. Like a sparkly dessert version of Belle from Beauty & the Beast.

1:20pm: Best Costume Design presented by Cate Blanchett

I love Cate. Love her. Statuesque, noble, dignified, beautiful, articulate, intelligent, talented. And Australian.
WINNER: Jenny Beaven for Mad Max: Fury Road
Beaven also designed for A Room with a View. How very—not like Mad Max. Clearly a talented woman.
Squeezes in a comment about global warming.

1:20pm: Best Production Design presented by Tina Fey & Steve Carrell

WINNER: Colin Gibson & Lisa Thompson for Mad Max: Fury Road

1:26pm: Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling presented by Jared Leto

WINNER: Lesley Vanderwalt, Elka Wardega & Damian Martin for Mad Max: Fury Road
More Australians! Hooray!

1:30pm: Two more Best Picture nominations presented by Benicio del Toro and Jennifer Garner
The Revenant
Mad Max: Fury Road
Gosh I hope Leo wins this year. I hope I hope I hope.

1:36pm: Best Achievement in Cinematography presented by Rachel McAdams

WINNER: Emmanuel Lubezki for The Revenant 

1:40pm: Best Achievement in Film Editing presented by Praying Chopra and Liev Schreiber

In the nominations we are reminded that Star Wars happened this year. Where did that one go?
Btw, I think Liev Schreiber is great 🙂
WINNER: Margaret Sixel for Mad Max: Fury Road

1:42pm: Rock takes the satirical Black History Month a step further with Angela Basset confusing Will Smith with Jack Black.

1:50pm: Best Achievement in Sound Editing presented by Captain America and a black guy (haha)

WINNER: Mark Mangini and David White for Mad Max: Fury Road

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing

WINNER: Chris Jenkins, Gregg Rudoff & Ben Osmo for Mad Max: Fury Road

1:55pm: Best Achievement in Visual Effects presented by Andy Serkis

WINNER: Andrew Whitehurst, Paul Norris, Mark Ardington & Sara Bennett for Ex Machina

2:00pm: Olivia Munn & Jason Segel comment on the Science and Technology Academy Awards, which they hosted last week.

 2:02pm: Rock unleashes his ‘daughters’ to sell Girl Scout cookies to the audience and makes a jab at Leo’s $30million paycheck for The Revenant.

2:05pm: Best Animated Short Film presented by the Minions

WINNER: “Bear Story”
Beautiful heartfelt thank you speech from the Chilean winners.
Is it just me or is Chile an exercise in diversity from the USA? Is that not something to be celebrated?

2:11pm: Best Animated Feature presented by Woody and Buzz Lightyear

WINNER: Inside Out from Pixar

2:15pm: Music performance from The Weeknd introduced by Kevin Hart

The Weeknd performs “Earned It” from Fifty Shades of Grey with the help of some acrobatics, burlesque costumes and a string section.

2:20pm: Rock surveys the people of Compton outside a movie theatre to uncover their opinions on Best Picture this year with amusing results. Btw this is the same gag he pulled for his 2005 hosting stint.

2:30pm: Best Supporting Actor presented by Patricia Arquette

Mark! Mark! Mark!
Oh. Wrong Mark.
WINNER: Mark Rylance for Bridge of Spies

2:40pm: Best Documentary Short Subject presented by Louis CK

Louis is a funny guy. Love his work.
Touching on the plight of documentary film-making he jokes “this Oscar is going home in a Honda Civic.”
WINNER: “A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness”
Amazing acceptance speech from winner Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy on the power of documentary making to change governmental policies.

2:42pm: Best Documentary Feature presented by Daisy Ridley and Dev Patel

WINNER: Amy

2:50pm: Rock reveals that his girls made $65 243 from selling Girl Scout cookies to the audience.

2:52pm: Honorary Awards and general pleasantries from Whoopi Goldberg and Cheryl Boone Isaacs.

2:56pm: In Memoriam introduced by Louis Gosset Junior and serenaded by Dave Grohl performing “Blackbird”

David Bowie, Leonard Nimoy, Alan Rickman, James Horner, Wes Craven and Christopher Lee among the farewells this year.

3:04pm: Best Live Action Short Film presented by cute kids in tuxedoes

WINNER: “Stutterer”

Best Foreign Language Film presented by Sofia Vergara and Byung-hun Lee

WINNER: Song of Saul by Laszlo Nemes, Hungary
Yay Hungary!

3:11pm: Vice-President Joe Biden gets a standing ovation and responds with “I’m the least qualified person here.” It’s a relief to know there are still good leaders in the world.

Music performance from Lady Gaga “Til It Happens To You” from The Hunting Ground

Wow. Goosebumps.

3:22pm: Best Original Score 

One of my favourite categories. Apart from Directing, Composing is the category that requires the most training, technical ability and complexity of talent. These guys are heroes of art.
WINNER: Ennio Morricone for The Hateful Eight
I can’t believe this is his first win! After eight nominations and an honorary Oscar a few years back. Such an incredible composer. Love his work

Best Original Song presented by Common and John Legend

Some great nominations this year!
WINNER: Jimmy Napes & Sam Smith for “The Writing’s on the Wall” in Spectre
Sam Smith dedicates his win to the LGBT community and Chris Rock follows up with “no jokes here, you ain’t gonna get me in trouble.”

3:30pm: Two more nominations for Best Picture presented by Olivia Wilde and Sacha Baron Cohen
Room
Brooklyn

3:36pm: Best Director presented by J. J. Abrams

Personally I am hoping it’s Tom McCarty for Spotlight but I really think it’ll be between Iñárritu and Miller.

NOMINEES:
Adam McKay, The Big Short 
Lenny Abrahamson, Room
Tom McCarthy, Spotlight
Alejandro G. Iñárritu, The Revenant
George Miller, Mad Mad: Fury Road

WINNER: Alejandro G. Iñárritu

Well deserved! Again, is this not diversity of some kind?

3:45pm: Best Actress in a Leading Role presented by Eddie Redmayne

Of course I vote for Cate Blanchett, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it went to one of the younger options.

NOMINEES:
Cate Blanchett, Carol
Brie Larson, Room
Jennifer Lawrence, Joy
Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years
Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn

 WINNER: Brie Larson

Wowsers! She was up against some real talent. Well done.

3:52pm: Best Actor in a Leading Role presented by Julianne Moore

Come on, Leo. It’s time.

NOMINEES:
Bryan Cranston, Trumbo
Matt Damon, The Martian
Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant
Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs
Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl

WINNER: Leonardo DiCaprio

Yay! YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

4:00pm: Best Picture presented by Morgan Freeman

Here we go, the big deal. I’m hoping for Spotlight but we’ll see, there are some real good movies on this list…

NOMINEES:
The Big Short
Bridge of Spies
Brooklyn
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant
Room
Spotlight

WINNER: Spotlight

Yes! Such a good movie. Go see it if you haven’t already. Brilliant screenplay, fantastic ensemble cast, excellent directing.

Closing thoughts from Chris Rock: “Black lives matter.”

 

 

 

Peace on Earth

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men.

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men.

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men.”

from “Christmas Bells”, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Top Ten Vintage Christmas Films to Save You From Netflix Specials

Not all Christmas movies are created equal. Finding a good festive film requires an increasingly long trek through the morass of animated holiday specials, random variety shows, Hallmark made-for-TV goo and just plain bad efforts from studios who should know better.

So if you’ve exhausted all the usual go-to’s, look no further. Here are ten classics that are guaranteed to warm the cockles of your Christmas heart.

10. The Holly & the Ivy (1952)

An English clergyman realises the error of his ways as he reconnects with his estranged famliy at Christmas. Based on a play by Wynyard Browne the film bravely examines the complexities of family and the ambiguities of emotional neglect with unexpectedly heart-warming results.

9. Three Godfathers (1948)

3 godfathers

Nothing says Christmas like a John Wayne western, right? A hard-hitting, surprisingly emotional reimagining of the story of the three wise men as wild west bandits fleeing the law who stumble across a mother and her newborn son in the desert.

8. We’re No Angels (1955)

A comedic counterpart to the gunslinging godfathers, here three convicts on the run share Christmas dinner with a family and upon learning of their financial troubles decide to forego their devious plans and perform a few good deeds. Humphrey Bogart plays a loveable con as only he can.

7. Mon Oncle Antoine (1971)

mon oncle

Not as vintage as the other offerings on this list, but a classic in it’s own right. Set in Quebec, this movie is often cited as the best Canadian film ever made. Benoit accompanies his uncle to retrieve the body of young boy at Christmastime. A beautiful meditation on life and death, family, age and the innocence of youth.

6. Meet Me in St Louis (1944)

Judy Garland in her sparkling prime in a big screen musical about the lives and loves of four sisters around the time of the 1904 St Louis World’s Fair. Not a Christmas movie per se, but it gave us the perennial classic “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and for that we will be forever grateful.

5. A Christmas Carol [Scrooge] (1951)

Arguably the best rendition of the ubiquitous Dickens story, it is a sheer joy to watch veteran actor Alastair Sim in the titular role as he transforms utterly from a miserly old man into a redeemed champion of the virtue of generosity and the value of human life.

4. Holiday Inn (1942) & White Christmas (1954)

holiday inn

Bing Crosby dazzles in both movies, singing and dancing his way through colourful holiday shenanigans and general musical greatness. There’s snow, romance, timeless Irving Berlin tunes, and all the festive kitsch you could desire. Holiday Inn comes out slightly ahead simply because it also features the incomparable Fred Astaire.

3. Miracle on 34th Street (1947)

The classic tale of a Macy’s Santa Claus who may or may not be the real deal. An ingenious portrayal of the power of childlike faith to overcome adult narrow-mindedness, cynicism and doubt. There are several remakes, but try this one first.

2. The Shop Around the Corner (1940)

Charmingly set in Budapest, this movie is an embodiment of everything that was once grand about romantic comedies. Two shop assistants who can’t stand each other gradually realise they have fallen in love as anonymous pen pals. A gorgeously tangled plot handled with surprising range, it manages to never get too sweet or too sour.

1. It’s a Wonderful Life (1947)

its-a-wonderful-life

James Stewart takes the helm in the top two movies on this list, and really, who else can be the hero of Christmas vintage if not for the man who brought us George Bailey, the troubled businessman facing personal crisis on Christmas Eve. A surprisingly dark concept for a Christmas movie, George is rescued from suicidal contemplations when the angel Clarence takes him on a journey through his past to show him how different the world would be if he had never existed. The final scene, that look on Bailey’s face as he realises the true value of his life to those around him, is one of the most life-affirming moments in cinema.

 

Elise Janes

 

Thoughts in Light of Recent Events

grey area quoteA couple of months ago, I wrote about what I expected to get out of quitting my part-time job. In truth, quitting my job has left me feeling (perpetually) uneasy. I no longer have the option to fall back on bakery work if I fail to find a full-time job, and I am gradually chipping away at my hard-earned savings. Though, with nothing to fall back on, I have no choice but to work hard towards securing my dream job, so in a way, quitting has been a positive move towards my (hopefully) bright future. Quitting my job has also allowed me to spend more time with family and friends; this has been invaluable.

Clearly, risk-taking has its perks, and its consequences; I guess you just have to take the good with the bad. Having said that, it is not my belief that one can easily brush off the feelings that come with unemployment. I can’t even begin to imagine how unemployment would feel with a family to support. In instances like this, people will reach out to those around them. Through this, some will be told that their situation could be worse; other major issues exist in the world. In the past, I’m sure I’ve been guilty of making these judgements myself. But, what I’ve come to realise recently, is that the issues of someone who has been born into privilege, and the issues of someone who has been born into disadvantage, are not mutually exclusive. Hurt is hurt. When someone expresses feelings of hurt in a time when many are dealing with tragedy, it does not mean they believe their feelings are more important than those of others who are suffering.

Having said that, I do think it can be beneficial at times for individuals to take a step back, reflect, and be thankful for what they have. Turning twenty-one last week, worries were playing on my mind about my future. These worries were disrupted when I learned of the terror attacks in Paris and Beirut. On my birthday, I was very thankful to have made it to twenty-one. For a while, my thoughts will surely be consumed with the ‘what ifs’ of my future, but that doesn’t mean I’ll feel any less for the people of France and Lebanon, and for all the people of the world who are suffering.   It would take pages and pages for me to tackle these issues of which I have merely brushed the surface.

Being a very indecisive person, I have a tendency to look at life differently with every changing hour, so I rarely have total confidence in my opinions. I often find my opinion swayed by content online, only to have it swayed again (even a minute later) by a comment posted under an article. Until recently, I’ve viewed debates as wrong or right, black and white. But, now I’ve come to realise that most issues have large grey areas.

I guess we can only try our best to stay as informed as possible, and we can spread awareness about issues through providing those around us with information (without being nasty and condescending of course). Hate is the motive for many attacks that have occurred, and will occur, around the world; kindness is needed now, more than ever.

 

Carmel Purcell

 

Humans Responding to Inhumanity

Words have the power to compel, to inspire, to incite change and to unify humanity in the face of trial and suffering. As the world watches Paris to see the unfolding of these immense historical events, we are reminded of the same uncertainty and fear that generations before us faced as they too stood on the brink of conflict and struggle. At times like these the words of great men and women who have spoken out against oppression and injustice serve to remind us of our responsibilities as members of the human race: to be strong, to be just, and to strive for peace even in the face of darkness and terror.

Versailles

In these difficult moments, we must — and I’m thinking of the many victims, their families, and the injured — show compassion and solidarity. But we must also show unity and calm. Faced with terror, France must be strong, she must be great, and the state authorities must be firm. We will be. We must also call on everyone to be responsible. What the terrorists want is to scare us and fill us with dread. There is indeed reason to be afraid. There is dread, but in the face of this dread, there is a nation that knows how to defend itself, that knows how to mobilize its forces and, once again, will defeat the terrorists.

President Francoise Hollande on the streets of Paris, November 13 2015

 

During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.

Nelson Mandela to the Supreme Court of South Africa, April 20 1964

 

From every mountainside, let freedom ring. And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old negro spiritual, “Free at last, free at last. Thank God Almighty, we are free at last.”

Martin Luther King, August 28 1963

 

It has come to a battle between the women and the government as to who shall yield first, whether they will yield and give us the vote, or whether we will give up our agitation. Well, they little know what women are. Women are very slow to rouse, but once they are aroused, once they are determined, nothing on earth and nothing in heaven will make women give way; it is impossible.

Emmeline Pankhurst, November 13 1913

 

So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself — nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life, a leadership of frankness and of vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory. And I am convinced that you will again give that support to leadership in these critical days.

Franklin D. Roosevelt Inauguration, March 4 1933

 

We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.

Winston Churchill to the House of Commons, June 4 1940

 

Love is an abstract noun, something nebulous. And yet love turns out to be the only part of us that is solid, as the world turns upside down and the screen goes black. We can’t tell if it will survive us. But we can be sure that it’s the last thing to go.

Martin Amis, The Second Plane (2008)

 

You can find Calcutta anywhere in the world. You only need two eyes to see. Everywhere in the world there are people that are not loved, people that are not wanted nor desired, people that no one will help, people that are pushed away or forgotten. And this is the greatest poverty.

Mother Theresa

 

So long as our relationship is defined by our differences, we will empower those who sow hatred rather than peace, and who promote conflict rather than the cooperation that can help all of our people achieve justice and prosperity. This cycle of suspicion and discord must end. The first issue that we have to confront is violent extremism in all of its forms…. We will relentlessly confront violent extremists who pose a grave threat to our security. Because we reject the same thing that people of all faiths reject: the killing of innocent men, women, and children.

President Barack Obama at Cairo University, June 4 2009

 

I am talking about genuine peace, the kind of peace that makes life on earth worth living, and the kind that enables men and nations to grow, and to hope, and build a better life for their children … not merely peace in our time but peace in all time.

John F. Kennedy

 

An All Hallow’s Read

Halloween, All Hallow’s Eve, Allhallowtide, Night of the Dead, whatever you call it and however you think it came into being one thing’s for sure, it’s become a majorly lucrative chocolate-selling and movie-renting business. This year why not save your consumerist fervour for Christmas and instead stay home for a quiet evening read, with a flickering candle and a glass of brandy or something. What to read, you ask? We have just the thing.

Along the shore the cloud waves break,
The twin suns sink beneath the lake,
The shadows lengthen
In Carcosa.

Strange is the night where black stars rise,
And strange moons circle through the skies
But stranger still is
Lost Carcosa.

Songs that the Hyades shall sing,
Where flap the tatters of the King,
Must die unheard in
Dim Carcosa.

Song of my soul, my voice is dead;
Die thus, unsung, as tears unshed
Shall dry and die in
Lost Carcosa.

Cassilda’s Song in “The King in Yellow,” Act i, Scene 2.

The_King_in_Yellow

Thus begins one of the oldest, strangest and oft-referenced works of speculative fiction to grace our shelves, as mysterious today as it was when first published in 1895. The King in Yellow is a collection of short stories by Robert W. Chambers, and if you’re nodding your head now it’s because you recognise the title from the first season of True Detective, where the themes and symbolism were referenced as a kind of otherworldly red herring to the mystery pursued by Rust and Marty.

The intertextuality doesn’t end there. Chambers’ collection itself is hung on the influence of a play about the titular King, which is continually referenced throughout the stories but never fully presented. The play is said to bring insanity or a grim fate upon those who read it. Besides Chambers’ stories themselves being a great read, this elusive structural gimmick is pure squirmy genius.

And its heritage is vast. Chambers’ Yellow King was influenced by the classic works of Ambrose Bierce, Théophile Gautier and even Poe, and went on to be a foundational inspiration for most of the significant genre players of the  twentieth century, including H. P. Lovecraft, Raymond Chandler, Robert A. Heinlein and even Stephen King.

All this over a creepy fictional play that never actually existed.

The best news is that it’s now public domain so you can read the entire text online. Enjoy.

Because of Marty McFly

If you were born in or around the 80s chances are Marty McFly featured large in your childhood. Something about the combination of his wide-eyed wonder and teenage recklessness made Marty the kind of guy you’d want to hang around. The many harrowing experiences he endured simply endeared him to us further, as he saved himself from oblivion several times and repeatedly outwit the many iterations of Biff Tannen via the assistance of a handy hoverboard or some mad guitar skills, or the inevitable pile of manure.

In fact many of you would still count the Back to the Future trilogy among the best movies ever made. I know I do, not simply for the sheer entertainment value, which is significant even thirty years on, but because the films spoke intimately and intelligently to the sense of adventure and personal triumph that we all crave, making them truly timeless in their appeal and also their relevance.

Back-to-the-Future-2

The movies had a vast impact on popular culture, with the crazy inventiveness of the narrative spawning references wide and varied from hiphop tunes, to presidential addresses, to the emergence of 80s skateboard culture. And the mild DeLorean was never the same again.

In honour of this very great of days, 21 October 2015, I’d like to acknowledge the linguistic contribution of Back to the Future to our modern vernacular. Here are fifteen things you now say because of Dr. Emmett Brown and his silver DeLorean.

Great Scott!

Manure! I hate manure!

Nobody calls me chicken.

Whoa. This is heavy.

Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads

If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 mph…you’re gonna see some serious shit.

Why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here?

The time-travelling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: women.

You’re the doc, Doc.

What happens to us in the future? Do we become assholes or something?

I foresee two possibilities. One, coming face to face with herself 30 years older would put her into shock and she’d simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe!

I’m your density.

Well, that is your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein? It’s written all over your underwear.

It means your future hasn’t been written yet. No one’s has. Your future is whatever you make it. So make it a good one, both of you.

If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.

Happy Back to the Future Day, everyone.

Elise Janes

Marlon James Wins the Booker Prize

Snaps for Marlon James, the first Caribbean to win the Booker Prize since V. S. Naipaul won in 1971 with In a Free State, and the third in a row of winners who have not been Irish, English or Indian.

James’ win should put a smile on many a rebellious face, much like the subject matter of his book A History of Seven Killings, which covers the attempted assassination of Bob Marley in Jamaica in the 1970s and traces the cultural fallout through the following decades, employing a surprisingly diverse array of narrative voices.

Jamaica’s history is rich in music and poetry, and James’ novel was inspired by this legacy, however he is notable for being one of the first truly successful Jamaican novelists.

Wayne Brown, a Trinidadian author who taught creative writing in Jamaica, wondered why all good Caribbean poetry came out of Jamaica, but all the good novels were from Trinidad. He observed this interesting difference between the two cultures:

If you put up a statue in Jamaica, the next day everyone pass that statue in silence. With a kinda solemnity about it. Because, you know, it’s a serious thing. That’s how I find you Jamaicans. You take things so goddamn serious. But if you put that same statue up in Trinidad, the next morning people deface it. Or they throw garbage at it. That’s how we are. You can’t put anything up on a pedestal in Trinidad.

from The Guardian

Now doesn’t that sound culturally familiar, fellow Australians? Apparently our natural bent toward toppling pedestals makes us prime novel-writing pasture.

Another encouraging fact that may appeal to those emerging authors out there: James’ first book was rejected by 78 publishers and agents. Hooray for number 79.

man-booker-prize-2015-short-listed-books

2015 Booker Shortlist:

  • Marlon James (Jamaica), A Brief History of Seven Killings
  • Tom McCarthy (UK), Satin Island
  • Chigozie Obioma (Nigeria), The Fishermen
  • Sunjeev Sahota (UK), The Year of the Runaways
  • Anne Tyler (US), A Spool of Blue Thread
  • Hanya Yanagihara (US), A Little Life

Previous Winners:

  • 2010: Howard Jacobson (UK), The Finkler Question
  • 2011: Julian Barnes (UK), The Sense of an Ending
  • 2012: Hilary Mantel (UK), Bring Up the Bodies
  • 2013: Eleanor Catton (NZ), The Luminaries
  • 2014: Richard Flanagan (AUS), The Narrow Road to the Deep North

 

 

Five Fathers: the Good, the Bad & the Ugly

“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.”

You’ll be hard-pressed to find a list of fictional dads that doesn’t lead with Atticus Finch, so here he gets a category all of his own. This guy had it all. A lawyer raising two kids, teaching them to be real humans (the audacious character of Scout alone is testament to his fathering abilities) and defending the indefensible from the vilest aspects of human nature, all the while dispensing ageless advice to his children on the front porch of their Alabama home.

In tribute to Father’s Day (and the reality that some will find it a mixed affair), here are a few of the best, the worst and the strangest dads in literature.

 

The Good

  1. Jean Valjean

Les Miserables, Victor Hugo

“Because things are not agreeable,” said Jean Valjean, “that is no reason for being unjust towards God.”

At the bequest of a dying Fantine he rescued Cosette from the despicable Thernadiers and despite being a fugitive, remained a steadfast adoptive father and all-round good guy until his death, never once losing faith despite all he endured. That takes some guts.

 

  1. Mr Bennet

Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen

“Do not make yourself uneasy, my love. Wherever you and Jane are known you must be respected and valued; and you will not appear to less advantage for having a couple of—or I may say, three—very silly sisters.”

Some deride him for his sarcasm and his ambivalence toward his wife, but considering what he had to work with these are shown to be quite endearing qualities. It is his relationship with Elizabeth, the knowing-ness that passes between them, which makes him one of the best fathers in literature.

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  1. The Man/The Father

The Road, Cormac McCarthy

“He knew only that his child was his warrant. He said: If he is not the word of God God never spoke.”

Leads his son through a wilderness of post-apocalyptic destruction and teaches him indispensable survival skills, navigating the ambiguous morality that arises from such desperation. His tenacity alone is enough to garner him father-of-the-year.

 

  1. Arthur Weasley

The Harry Potter series, J. K. Rowling

“Ginny!” said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. “Haven’t I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain?”

His light-hearted perspective on life and unflinching defense of his children and the marginalised Muggles makes him almost a lovably clownish Atticus Finch. And without exception his seven children are among the greatest humans (?) on the planet.

 

  1. Thomas Schell

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

“Honey! I got to go! Other people need to use the phone! I’m gonna be fine, you’re gonna be fine! You listen to me! You made my life better and I want you to know that absolutely love you. I’m going to call you back in a few minutes.”

Proof that even in absence a father can be fundamentally influential in his child’s life. Oskar goes in search of a perceived secret message from his father who was killed in 9/11, and finds himself again.

 

The Bad

  1. Pap Finn

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain

“I’ll take you down a peg before I get done with you. You’re educated, too, they say—can read and write. You think you’re better’n your father, now, don’t you, because he can’t?”

Drunk, abusive and sadistic, he is everything a father shouldn’t be. The only thing we are grateful for is that he produced such a son as Huck and spawned one of the most famously epic tales of childhood adventure known to literature. We are not sorry to learn of his death at the end of the book.

Lolita with Jeremy Irons

  1. Humbert Humbert

Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov

“You have to be an artist and a madman, a creature of infinite melancholy, with a bubble of hot poison in your loins and a super-voluptuous flame permanently aglow in your subtle spine.”

Marries Charlotte Haze to get close to her daughter, Lolita, which makes him her stepfather and legal guardian when Charlotte dies, leaving her at his mercy. Enough said.

 

  1. Michael Henchard

The Mayor of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy

“MICHAEL HENCHARD’S WILL
That Elizabeth-Jane Farfrae be not told of my death, or made to grieve on account of me.”

An alcoholic who auctions off his wife and child, never bothering to find them until they return eighteen years later while he is in the middle of courting another woman whom he has already disgraced. Lovely.

 

  1. Mr Wormwood

Matilda, Roald Dahl

“A book?! What d’you wanna flaming book for? …we’ve got a lovely telly with a 12-inch screen and now ya wanna book!”

This quote alone places Mr Wormwood into the lowest percentile of humans. A used-car salesman who deceives his customers, alienates his genius daughter and terrorizes her lovely teacher Miss Honey, he is the definition of terrible-dadness.

 

  1. Archibald Craven

The Secret Garden, Frances Hodgson Burnett

“My mother died when I was born and it makes him wretched to look at me. He thinks I don’t know, but I’ve heard people talking. He almost hates me.”

Yes, we feel sorry for him because his wife died but, no, that does not give him any right to abandon his sick son in a dingy room, especially when all his son needs is a bit of love and natural beauty in order to make a miraculous recovery.

 

The Ugly

  1. King Lear

King Lear, Shakespeare

“…he that makes his generation messes to gorge his appetite, shall to my bosom be as well neighbored, pitied, and relieved, as thou my sometime daughter.”

Definitely not the only terrible father in Shakespeare’s oeuvre, but certainly one of the most memorable. He makes the ugly list because he tests his three daughters to see who loves him most in order to decide who should inherit his estate, all the while completely blind to their true natures. He deserves to succumb to madness, and does so with spectacular pomp.

 

  1. Don Vito Corleone

The Godfather, Mario Puzo

“A man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.”

You could argue that as a father figure, the Don is actually a great family man. Everything he did was for his ‘family’ after all, including making people offers they couldn’t refuse. Yet his actions lead to the death of two of his sons and the corruption of another. So, yeah, ugly.

 

  1. Jack Torrance

The Shining, Stephen King

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

Another alcoholic dad, Jack adds to the mix by trying to kill his family with an axe. You could argue it’s not all his fault. But that doesn’t make him a better dad.

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  1. Heathcliff

Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

“Linton can play the little tyrant well. He’ll undertake to torture any number of cats, if their teeth be drawn and their claws pared.”

Thus is Heathcliff’s view of his son, another sickly boy confined to a dingy house and his father’s intense disregard. Though it’s hard to really stay angry at Heathcliff because he is so damn brooding and so passionately in love with dead Cathy.

 

  1. Nick Dunne

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn

“We weren’t ourselves when we fell in love, and when we became ourselves – surprise! – we were poison. We complete each other in the nastiest, ugliest possible way.”

Though he stays with the crazy wife because of his unborn child, we can all see the direction Nick Dunne is taking by the close of this book, foreshadowed by the misogynistic outbursts of his aging father. You could say it’s all her fault, but then again, is it?

 

Elise Janes