This week I had a wobbly moment. Old fears resurfaced. Past anxieties tried to sink their claws in.
Efforts to prepare my work for submission saw me make blundering attempt after blundering attempt to write a synopsis. What is it with these short forms of message conveyance that terrify me so?
Over the years I’ve had no shortage of conversations with fellow writers on this subject. We say their names with scorn and undisguised disrespect: Log lines. Blurbs. Outlines.
A common question is uttered with disdain: How am I expected to condense my entire novel into 25 words, 1 paragraph, two pages? (choose your poison)
We sigh. We cringe. We try not to show how daunted we are at the prospect of doing these very things.
And so, for my part, I remained dismissive of these stalwarts of the publishing world’s submission requirements. I put those unaddressed fears in an envelope, put the envelope in the post addressed to a day that’s always tomorrow.
Except, this week, I was forced to peek inside the envelope. And there it was – the fear that my inability to address flaws in my last project were back and a ticking time bomb at the core of this current project.
These flaws include:
- An overreliance on back story
- Key moments that occur outside of the scope of the novels’ time frame (that possibly should not)
- And the worst one of all – that the character’s struggle does not make sense.
Questions (criticisms and self-chastising) ensued.
- How could I end up here again?
- Have I learned nothing?
- Why do I keep repeating the same mistakes?
I wobbled. My stomach did a few flip-flops. I spent a testing 50 minutes on the train home from work wondering whether eight months of work was about to slip through my fingers. It was all disappearing and the version of reality where I am not good enough was bearing down upon me.
Then I made the decision not to accept this – to fight back. I swallowed my pride. I reached out. Through social media and email I asked friends for help with writing a synopsis. Saviours came to my aid. Their kind words and offers of assistance gave me renewed hope.
The wobble passed and I was still standing, my latest project still intact. And the synopsis?
It’s three pages long with aspirations to be a slender two. I’m getting there…with a little help from my friends.